The amaryllis I received at Christmas is changing daily—kinda like my face. Every morning I check the amaryllis and it’s grown like Jack’s beanstalk overnight. Then I sneak a glance over my toothbrush at the bathroom mirror, and my! How I’ve changed. Deeper lines, chin disappearing into my neck, blotches and spots, and ever more, well, face.
Photographs portraying the depth of experience and wisdom in old faces enchant me. Facial lines etched like a map of life’s journey, happy crinkles at the eyes, questioning horizons across the brow intersecting with vertical furrows of thought. Trouble is, I’m at that not-quite-there-yet stage, like that pubescent era when my pre-teen nose and teeth got ahead of the rest of my face—beyond child but not yet adolescent.
How long does it take to get from an aging face to an interestingly aged face? I’m on my way. Most disappointing has been the gradual disappearance of what I always considered my best feature: eyebrows. Initially they turned white and wiry, then they stopped showing up altogether. Some of my friends do an artful job of penciling in eyebrows. I’m not up to it. In fact, my use of makeup has diminished as my face ages. My lips, which I thought were a little too full when I was young, have thinned—the only part of me that has.
I spend less on lipstick, but steroids soak up the cost savings. I’ve been diagnosed with an inflammatory skin condition that causes balding. Called “lichen planopilaris,” it’s rare, noncontagious, non-genetic, and idiopathic (meaning, said the dermatologist, “we idiot doctors don’t know what causes it.”) It’s more common in younger adult women, which makes me grateful to be a late bloomer. Topical steroids were prescribed with no assurance they’ll be effective. The alternatives suggested in medical brochures are scarves, wigs, and yup, comb-overs.
As I deal with this latest insult of aging, I found inspiration at the cinema. Who wouldn’t be charmed by Angela Lansbury, age ninety-three, presumably wearing her own wiry hair, handing out balloons to Mary Poppins? And unlike Hollywood actors who seek younger roles, Clint Eastwood at eighty-eight plays someone even older, a ninety-year-old drug runner in “The Mule.”

Not the amaryllis, but another house plant suggests to me the glory of aging. My peace plant offers one elegant white bloom at a time. I noticed the mature bloom was getting dark around the edges as the younger replacement blossom began to appear. When I inadvertently delayed snipping off the older bloom, it developed a glorious bronze border enveloping a bulging stamen. Sexy and gorgeous even on the way out.
A friend, now well into her nineties and living in a care facility, made an astute comment years ago when mutual friends underwent plastic surgery to smooth out their faces.
“I’m proud of the lines on my face,” she said. “I earned every one of them.”







For long minutes stretching into eternity, I stared at the grocery store shelf, paralyzed by indecision, conflicted in a war of values. Finally I grabbed a bottle of apple cider vinegar and fled to the next aisle, where my dilemma would only deepen.

Day Two: Sculpting. Reuben adapted his paper plan to fit the naked ground, drawing a shovel to line out terrace walls like a sculptor pulling form from clay.
Day Three: Blocks. Stacks of retaining blocks magically appeared on my patio in early morning. The stack slowly diminished as Leon, working solo that day, erected walls. By afternoon, as the walls stretched further from the block piles, I watched Leon walk up the steps, retrieve two blocks, descend the steps, place the blocks. Over and over. I picked up one of the blocks, decided I could heft and deliver them one at a time. That would keep him building instead of walking.
Day Four: Rocks. The morning began with delivery of rocks the size of July Fourth watermelons. I did not even consider picking one up. Toting the rocks one by one down a full flight of stairs, the men meticulously created my lower terrace wall.
Day Five: Shifting sands. At least we didn’t need fill dirt. The river had left more than an adequate amount of s
Day Six (after a weekend off): Planting! Shrubs and grasses were carried in their pots to the lower level, where Reuben stood, eyeballing his empty canvas of dirt, placing the pots so the rest of the team could dig in. Irrigation lines were functioning by day’s end.
Day Seven: Perennials. We began in Reuben’s garden, a glorious oasis of color amidst the Okanogan’s sage and sand. He generously donated perennials from his abundance. 
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